does that person really care for you? or you're just another place that the person can vent to and run away, push you away when you need them?
think.
2) and you say "maybe I am not worth remembering"
the person you once called friend, isn't your friend after all. and you realized that you are just another stranger to that person. and it's your fault wholly that you put your trust on that 'friend'. and it's entirely your fault for hoping that, that 'friend' will think you as her/his friend too. you've warned yourself to not get attached, but you did, now you have to face the consequences.
attached, no more
stay alive, my friend |-/
3) I am not like her. I wish I am her though. My sister is the epitome of perfect.
4) The pain of being the strongest one among your siblings is that, no one bothers to ask you whether you're feeling well or nah when you're really sick. But it takes a whole lot of efforts when it comes to the other siblings when they are sick. I don't know whether I am just being petty or a brat or overreacting, but it hurts.
sometimes, it's not fair. but it's okay. I guess.
5) I keep messing things up. I don't feel comfortable living in my own skin. I want communication with a human, I want to talk about my feelings. I want to talk about my day. I want to listen to your ramblings. I want to listen to your problems. I want to talk. I want to pour out this heavy feeling I keep. It's heavy and it hurts. I want us to talk about silly stuff. I want you to pay attention to me instead of pushing me away. I want someone to be okay with me being quiet and okay with the silence. Because sometimes, all I want is that person listening to me, breathing, being quiet, understands me for who I am. For whatever God's reasons created me this way. I don't know. I long for communication. or the presence of someone, not talking, the person... is just there.
is that too much to ask ?
6) I don't want to be alone sometimes.
