again

i can't breathe properly

i feel scared

petrified

empty but heavy

i hit the rock bottom

drowning

fell into the rabbit hole

stop thinking. stop everything. stop.

Apparently, I am not perfect and I've realized it long ago. Because I've realized that the whole point of everything you did, no, you guys did was to show that our little family is perfect. When actually it is not. You guys terlalu jaga hati orang. The fact is, they don't give a slightest damn about us bila susah. where were they? They don't really give a damn about us. We're not perfect. So are other families. I am not perfect. kling akhlami buhfik. but it's nice that us, family, selalu stick together. i love my family. but pretending that our family is perfect is... tiring??? Stop it. Stop this act.

i am so scared of the future. i do. i do. i do.