that sometimes the nightmares,
get the best of me
that sometimes I wake up every night,
crippling on my own bed,
gasping for air,
where am I?
There are some days, that I feel like shutting myself off and i don't want to be functioning at all.
where the bathroom walls are the only one who sees the mess I am and the cries, here.
That sometimes, things around me trigger me to overthink. "stop overthinking!!" yeah, please, let's switch body and see how that is easy for you.
and sometimes, there's this switch, where it'd turn on sesuka hati, and boom, I feel like everything is my fault. Oh, boy I really hate it when I am like this. because I tend to hurt myself. and that's not good. and I am not proud of it. it's getting worse. i hurt myself since 15 y/o
I am sorry to those I've hurt when I am at this state. Believe me, I never wanted to feel that way.
I have no answer to all these mess I am in. Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. I dont know.
and probably, after you've read this, you're going to keep your distance away from me. Because I am my own monster.
i'll understand.
However, I am really hoping and wishing that,
you'll never leave me.
i need you.
But I'll be okay.
