Hello.

I wasn't really okay for the past few days. And I don't know why. So it's hard for me to.. explain it to you. I don't know exactly why I was sad.

All I know was/is I want to explode so bad. I want to scream until my lungs out of air, until my throat bleeds, until all my tears run down my face and my lips rip off. I want to run, run, run, and run until my legs ache. I want to run from something but I don't what it is. I want to be in a dark box with no one in it, just me, myself hugging my legs wanting to be alone. And let the silence be the scream. I want to be in a quiet place where no slightest sound ever heard until my ears are ringing and bleeds. I want to be with someone  and hugs me and tell me things are okay. I want to push people away and scream "NO! NO! NO!" I want to laugh as loud as I can until my stomach hurts so bad, and annoy people with my laughter of joyness and sadness. I want to stomp my feet so loud with full of rage and don't bloody care of what people think of me. I want people to go away and make distance away from me further than they ever did at school. Go away. Go away. Go away. I want to do as I want to. I don't want to follow all of your whatever rules or regulations. I want to kill whoever who litters everywhere, who  hurt people and who being so ignorant about this whole bloody world. Who don't give a slightest bloody care about humanity. About .. about everything. I want to kill people who never stop being a stereotype and so so so bloody judgemental. I want to feel great. I want to feel grand. I want to feel that yeah I am weird and dont care what others think. I am weird. I am different. And i am proud of that. I am not good at making people feel okay but it's okay I am learning. I don't want to compare myself with people who prettier than me because pretty/beauty is in the eye of a beholder. I don't want to be selfish by wanting you only for me and the only girl who can talk to you is me. I am jealous. Full with envy. Full with those green liquid of envy in my body. Because everyone is pretty and I have no right to say or scream " No no no you must say that I am pretty. No no no no don't say other girls are pretty" because everyone is pretty and I should stop being so bloody slefish. I want to run and scream "WOW I LOVE BOOKS AND ARTS AND I LOVE TO DREAM SO MUCH ! I LOVE CATS AND I AM IN LOVE WITH A PERSON WHO REALLY LOVES TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND LOVE CATS AND SO WEIRD THAT WE KNOW THAT WE ARE A GREAT PAIR! I WANT TO STUDY POETRY AND AIRPLANES! I AM GOING TO GET FLYING COLOURS RESULTS AND NO ONE CAN SAY OTHERWISE OR ELSE I WILL KILL YOUR BLOODY CAT! I WANT TO STUDY IN IRELAND AND STAY IN IRELAND AND BUILD A HOUSE NEAR THE LIGHTHOUSE AND HAVE KIDS AND BRING ALONG MY PARENTS TO IRELAND! I AM GOING TO HAVE 2 KIDS OR MAYBE MORE I DONT KNOW AND NAME THEM ABRAR AND DALILAH! I WANT TO BE FREE AND HAPPY AND IN PEACE! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY I WANT TO DIE BEING MYSELF"

I am in rage. I am mad, angry with... I dont know?

that is all my rants.

Will be continued. Kot. Hopefully tak.

I loveee youuuuu ♡♡♡
Take careeee and good job!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡