assalamualaikum,
I'm asking too much I think... I'm asking my dad this and that with my uncool result? shiz. No. I will not ask him to get me anything this time, until I get what I actually want- 8A's in my hand. I am not satisfied with my exam results actually.. But alhamdulillah. Maybe I'm just.. well... obsess with good results, perfections and comparing myself with people. maybe? I envy those who can get ace results.. Kalau diorang boleh, aku pun boleh. kan? uh, I always set my hopes too high, expect moreeeeeeeeeeee than I can actually do, but when I didn't get the things that I expected to get, I.. crushed, sad, I keep blaming myself for why I have to be that stupid, crying. How fragile I am, huh? I hate to see my parents disappointed. I always make this scenario of when my parents said "It's okay. You've done your best. Try again, I know you can do it" they actually disappointed with me. I don't want that to happen.. I will try my best, to get 8A's. I WILL. Usaha. Doa. Solat. Tawakal. Usaha. Usaha.
I hate the fact that I am weak. I don't want people to label me as 'weak'. no.
Well, I've tried to avoid myself from tumblr; going to bookstores, buying novels. but that thing just inevitable. Whenever I open my tumblr, there's always something to reblog. nyem. and and whenever I went to the bookstore, there's always a new novel was placed on the rack/bookshelves or whatever. I love books. I love books more than I love things around me. Like I said before, bring me to the bookstore if I'm sad, or if I'm sulking. aha. no. that won't work. I love books. Books just... you know how when you read a novel and they're like.. bring you to another place? And and you can feel everything that is going on in the novel. Sad, happy, cheeky, disappointed and all the feelings that exist lah senang cerita. They give you this colorful imaginations. Spreading inside your brain. You know, I just can't stop reading novels. I will never stop. You know, I always admire those writers who can make me go on reading their novels without stopping or feel bored. I wonder how they get those brilliant ideas to write those stories? Dear writers, you just made me so ecstatic reading each page by each page of your wonderful writings. People were born with this wonderful talent just.. cool. one word: cool.
When I grow up, I wanna spend at least 2 hours a day at the bookstore or buy at least 4 books a week. I will nevuh stop reading novel. Well, maybe for just this 6 painful kicking ass months.... have to prepared myself with le BIG exam. So, yeah.. I try to replace the novels with reading articles in the newspapersssssssss.. So, I'm trying to avoid my sexy, cute tumblr.
Aha. I found some photos of me. 2009-2010. Nyaih. I am a one happy kid. Miss the moments. And yeah not to mention I snapped my photos like a rempit. ahaha. ohmygod. I miss that girl. so. bad. I. could. just. kill. myself. and. wish. to. go. back. to. that. time. and. cherish. everything. and. whisper. to. that. tiny. girl. to. never. wish. to. grow. up. I just love everything. every piece of memories back then.
so.. see ya later then.
xx
