1. got yelled “stupid” for locking my door. because my sister scared that I’m gonna hurt myself again or...
no more locking the door. I didn’t mean to make her worried about me. I was just changing my clothes. and it’s weird when she’s worried about it. because from what i know, she doesn’t take it seriously when i opened up to her last year. which caused me to relapse later after that bcs I felt like there's something wrong with me.
2. I’ve been extremely quiet for the past 5 days. And it seems like I make everyone worried about me. Which I didn’t mean to. I just... have a hard time with myself and I can sort everything out alone. It feels weird (and awkward) when people started to do that..?
3. thinking too much about a lot of things.
couldn’t find myself. it is as if i’m floating-- no, I am floating.
4. So, I'm not going to Medicine school. wow. All the efforts I put dari sekolah menengah sampai ke matrics come to a naught. I was at the verge of giving everything up. All the interviews and stuff.
You, people, have no idea what I'm feeling right now so don't tell me what I should feel and dON'T tell me that I'm exaggerating this thing. Because you don't know how hard it is to be this far. No, you don't. Dari sekolah menengah, i put my damn efforts dengan condition I yang unstable, sampai ke matriks. When you try and try and try but you never get there. When you put all your efforts, kerah gila-gila, but you still never get there. Maybe I almost do get there, but almost is not enough. no. I thought I give everyone my best, but apparently my best isn't best enough for them. Never will , I guess. I am SO TIRED.
and to those ungrateful people, please be grateful yang you get what you desire.
well, He knows what's best for me right? I'm gonna go with the flow. Whatever will be will be.
x
4. So, I'm not going to Medicine school. wow. All the efforts I put dari sekolah menengah sampai ke matrics come to a naught. I was at the verge of giving everything up. All the interviews and stuff.
You, people, have no idea what I'm feeling right now so don't tell me what I should feel and dON'T tell me that I'm exaggerating this thing. Because you don't know how hard it is to be this far. No, you don't. Dari sekolah menengah, i put my damn efforts dengan condition I yang unstable, sampai ke matriks. When you try and try and try but you never get there. When you put all your efforts, kerah gila-gila, but you still never get there. Maybe I almost do get there, but almost is not enough. no. I thought I give everyone my best, but apparently my best isn't best enough for them. Never will , I guess. I am SO TIRED.
and to those ungrateful people, please be grateful yang you get what you desire.
well, He knows what's best for me right? I'm gonna go with the flow. Whatever will be will be.
x
