hi. I miss blogging. And yes, I was supposed to post something before going to matriculation.
But, hey, I am here
still breathing
alhamdulillah.
So, I chose matriks.
I know what my plans are. so. yes.
I am a different person there. Not SO different but different. A good different may I say. or no? I don't know. or maybe I've changed a little. Is it even possible to change but still you being you? yes. it is.
1. I am better at talking/ communicating with people. Well better than before. I used to feel so shy and I have a self confidence the size of an ant! no! the size of plankton. or bacteria or the size of the smallest cell. ok whatever. But I have no confidence. Like I have now. I am better. I am good. I am okay.
2. I don't mind being alone to go anywhere. I don't mind people calling me a weirdo. why? Because I am. I am a weirdo so what? I like to read English novels, so what? I like this and that bands, so what? I berbuka makan bihun goreng while you guys makan nasi berlauk, so what? I am weirdo and a nerd and I am proud of it! hehe. I'm gonna embrace my weirdness more after this. Tu baru sikit ok
3. I wake up feeling positive. And it feels good. Takdalah maksud before this tak. Cuma, lain rasanya bila before you're going to sleep or sedang study, you cakap "Oh, I want to feel positive tomorrow" then, you feel positive bila bangun. Do you get me? Maybe no. Macam... you're looking forward to a positive day, the positive you, the positive morning esok tu. You pasang niat and mindset. alahai faham tak? hahhaha. aku je kot yang faham. I am bad at expressing some things (>.<)
So that's all. kot. the +ve side of me, yang mm berubah.
I feel sad bila rasa diri ni berubah. I D K WHY. Serious. And sometimes, I hate it. I hate hate hate it that I've changed. But it's a good change right? I am still the old Aina. Cuma changed but still the same. so why do I hate hate hate it so much? SATAN. hahah no. There's something holding me back from being good. Something anchored me from flying higher. And that something is... me. myself. EVIL AINA IS EVIL.
bluergh.
I am at home and it's nice to feel a little insane again. For I have to keep sane dekat sana.
Anyway, salaam Ramadhan to everyone!
ps: thank you to you-know-who-you-are, for always being there even though I mengada nak mampus afraid of dark bila terjaga and nangis because my kertas English tu hilang
and that is all. I hope everyone is feeling gewddddddddddddddddddddddd today.
see you
i love you
